The Bright Side of Divorce?

Going through a divorce can be an incredibly difficult experience. Not only are parties mourning the end of a relationship, they are typically dealing with feelings of anger and resentment toward the other person and each blaming the other for what went wrong. Add in the financial strain that comes from dividing debts and assets, along with trying to work out custody and timesharing arrangements, and it is clear why studies typically rank the stress level of a divorce just below the stress involved with losing a loved one. Given the difficulty associated with a divorce, it is often hard for parties to ever see the light at the end of the tunnel.

However, sooner or later (hopefully sooner, but that depends on how reasonable the parties are willing to be in dealing with each other) the divorce will be done. And, once that divorce is complete, each of the parties has a chance at a new beginning in life. This obviously includes the chance to pursue new romantic relationships, but can mean much more than that. In the case of a divorce with children, if the parties can manage to stay civil and work together to make the split as easy as possible on the children then the divorce can actually be good for the children. Living in a home where parents are constantly fighting or that is filled with tension can cause a host of emotional problems for children. Removing that tension by splitting up can often be a relief for children and parents alike and can enable each parent to develop a positive relationship with their children away from the negative relationship with the other parent. In turn, once the stress of living and trying to raise a family together is removed by the divorce, sometimes the parties themselves are able to remember why they became a couple in the first place and actually become friends. Or, if not friends, hopefully that can remain civil toward each other when they attend their children‘s school events.

After the initial financial shock caused when a community is divided, there can be a sense of freedom that comes with no longer having to make joint financial decisions. Or, sometimes more importantly, no longer being jointly responsible for another person‘s poor financial choices. For a party who gave up career opportunities to stay home with children, transitional or rehabilitative spousal support can provide the financial means to go back to school or get the specialized training for the job they always wanted. On the other hand, for a party who was the sole breadwinner for the family, the divorce may release the stress that comes with having to always work hard enough to provide for everyone else.

Of course, divorce is hard and can have long-term effects on everyone involved. But, trying to keep a positive outlook and cooperative attitude during the divorce process can not only increase a party‘s emotional well-being, but it can actually make the process itself go more smoothly. An experienced family law attorney should be able to help their client make smart legal decisions in their divorce and help them keep a positive outlook.

Collins & Collins, P.C.
Albuquerque Attorneys


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